Last year in Tennessee, a bill was passed called the “Religious Viewpoints Antidiscrimination Act.” This bill, in summary, allows students to voice their religious viewpoints, use their religion for homework topics, and even share their religious beliefs at school functions in speeches (such as graduation speeches). Before the Religious Viewpoints Antidiscrimination Act, some students around the country were denied their diplomas because they thanked God or Jesus. There were students who failed homework assignments because they wrote on the subject of religious beliefs that they held. Religious student groups were not allowed to pray at school and were not given the same non-curricular group rights that other groups were given. This bill passing was a major win for ALL religious groups and for religious freedom as whole. You can read the bill in its entirety here: http://www.capitol.tn.gov/Bills/108/Bill/SB1793.pdf.

Meanwhile, with legislation such as this being introduced to protect groups, there are those out there that “cry bully.” Some in the LGBT community are writing filth that is perpetuating the trend of bullying. Please read the article here: http://www.thegailygrind.com/2014/03/25/tennessee-passes-bill-allowing-bullying-lgbt-students-name-religious-freedom/. They believe that if we don’t believe exactly as they do, then we are less, we are nothing, we are the lowest of the low. It is an epidemic of tragic proportions.

Discrimination is huge in this country. If you are different, if you go against the status quo, you are discriminated against. This is true for Muslims, Jews, Christians, gays and lesbians, people with special needs - the list goes on. What people are not seeing: we have become a society of hate. Hate has permeated our way of life, our way of thinking, our way of dealing with each other. Bob is gay, so we hate him. Jim is a Christian, so we hate him. Sue is an Atheist, so we hate her. Islam is a whole other subject I am not going to touch - their hate is so strong that trying to reason it out is futile.

Why? Why have we become so callous, so cruel, so hardened? I am a Christian. I love everyone. I do not pretend to be perfect. I am just one of those people that chooses to love rather than hate. I don’t “tolerate” gays because I don’t agree with their lifestyle. I love them. I have a gay friend that I love dearly. So when he shared the above GailyGrind article, I commented in favor of the bill, and another person responded to me, and I quote, “We keep hoping that ‘dumb humans’ will eventually learn, but are constantly reminded (to our sadness) they still have a ways to go.” If that isn’t a form of cyber-bullying, I don’t know what is. Dumb human? Because I have my own beliefs? Did he even read the bill in its entirety? Nope. So he didn’t even know what it actually says, yet he implied in his comments bullying would not only be tolerated but protected by the bill - it never states that bullying will be tolerated! That is preposterous! The bill is a protection for students that have been silenced in the name of separation of church and state (which is a can of worms that is better left untouched by me, since IT ISN’T IN THE CONSTITUTION). *Putting away my megaphone.*

I understand that people of the LGBT community have difficulties. There are many people out there that are mean, rude, and downright nasty. And I am sorry that people in the LGBT community have gone through that when they just need us to love them. BUT that doesn’t mean we all have to agree to their ways!

As a Christian, I too have faced difficulties. Not everyone agrees with my faith. I have people that sneer at me in my class when I pray out loud before my test. I pray for those in my class and for me, that we will all remember what we need to survive the test. Yet people sneer or roll their eyes (I don’t believe you need to close your eyes to pray). Maybe I am being bullied. But I’m not going to go cry in a corner over it. I am going to pray for them and go on.

So is there a solution? YES! And it starts with YOU. Yes, YOU. The one reading this article. Search your heart. Is there someone you are bullying or discriminating against? Why? Because you don’t like what they do? Because they are different? Because they believe, or don’t believe, the way you think they should? Make a mental effort. Change your hate into something else. Change it into kindness and love. Are you avoiding some place because they support something that you dislike? Make an effort to think about your why and if it really is worth your time to spread that hate so far. Hate will get you nowhere really quickly. But love? Love changes everything. Reach out a hand, show love, and you will reap what you sow.


Original Image Credit: Flickr

Original Photo Credit: Flickr
Image Design Credit: Katie Foley

I decided to change my life because I have an autoimmune disease, I had high cholesterol, my parents are obese, and one of my brothers is obese with diabetes and high blood pressure at 40 years of age. My other brother was obese. Then he started eating right, exercising, and became a fitness junky. 

It was AWESOME watching him change. I envied that. Then there is my husband. He is pretty fit, and I don’t mean buff. He is more “running” fit. I hated being the fat wife with the skinny husband. It was embarrassing. AND I didn’t want to die of heart problems. It runs in my family. I have had multiple family members die of either cancer or heart problems. I did not want that to be me. I want a long, healthy life so I just might be able to play with my grandkids, if I ever have any. If not, I will be the coolest great-aunt there ever was. But I had to start somewhere. So I started with hitting the gym, doing classes like Zumba, doing the elliptical, etc. I then graduated to BeachBody products, like P90X3, Les Mills Combat, and PiYo (all great programs, and if you want to check them out, my website is www.beachbodycoach.com/tiger215). So, what’s my point? I have lost about 40lbs since February. I took a break when I started nursing school, but now I am back to it. And my autoimmune disorder has been mostly in check, as long as I eat right.

So why should you become part of the solution and stop being part of the problem? You will cost our government and your health insurance less money, which in turn will help our economy grow (ok, that is a slight stretch). But seriously, your health is in YOUR hands. Not anyone else’s. You have to want to change and become healthier for you and your own health. No one can do it for you. AND when you do, you will be so proud of yourself and what you have accomplished. I know I am proud of me, and you will be proud of you too! And, I will be happy that the government has stopped asking us to pay for our health insurance… oops, did I say that out loud?

Many Kind Regards,
Rebekah

Read here about Rebekah's personal weight loss journey

Photo Credit: Daremoshiranai Flickr

In reality, I have lost almost 40 pounds. I have busted my tail, exercised myself into an obsession with fitness, and have completely changed my diet (ok, sometimes not completely). Not a whole heck of a lot of weight has come off, but there are significant enough changes that my military spouse ID looked so much UNLIKE me that I kept getting stopped at the gate on post. When I went to get a new ID at the DEERS office, they didn’t even raise a fuss. They did confirm my identity though. I now have a shiny new ID that looks like me. Except, I don’t feel like a new me. Sure, I can run for longer periods of time, I can exercise for 90 minutes or more and still have the energy to run around post and shuttle my kids around to various appointments, and I can lift heavier weights. I feel physically great, and that is awesome! The issue: my mind still thinks I am fat. There are even times when I am eating something that isn’t in my new diet (gasp…I cheat!) and I think, “Put down the food, Fatty!” I even have notes on my cabinets saying mean things like “Remember what you looked like??” and “Put down the food!” This is completely worrisome to me. I mean, I should be feeling awesome mentally as well, right?? Apparently not.

There have actually been studies done on people who were obese and lost weight. It is completely common for them to still think they are fat and think that they still look fat. I find myself in the clothing store looking at clothes and still judging the cuts and styles based on my old size (16-18) instead of my new size 10. I think about the sleeveless dresses and cringe at my fat shoulders, and it takes me a moment to realize that I don’t have fat shoulders anymore. I have nicer, slimmer, more defined shoulders, but my mind still has a hard time grasping that concept.

I have NEVER been skinny. I was slimmer in high school, but gained a lot of weight in college. I dropped some of the weight, but then got married and got pregnant…with twins (can you say saggy belly skin?). After that, I yo-yoed for a while and then settled in at a cool 198 pounds. I lost a few pounds, and decided it was time to do this thing for sure. Dropped some, and gained it right back after a traumatic incident. Then I got serious when I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder and my mother’s health began really failing due to her auto-immune disorder. I wanted to be stronger than she was physically, so that I would have a better chance of surviving any major health issue that came my way. I also wanted to look better for my husband when he got home from a deployment. The problem? I still have that “Phantom Fat.” (Not my term; I found it in an old news article that can be found here.) They coined that phrase after the similar idea of the “phantom limb.” People sometimes can still “feel” their limb/limbs after they have been amputated or lost in an accident. In us formerly gigantic people, we still “feel” the fat mentally. We have been beating ourselves up over our fatness for so long that when we finally do the amazing thing of losing that weight, we still beat ourselves up over that now non-existent (or in my case less existent) fat load.

So, do you have “Phantom Fat” and wonder how to fix your brain? Well, I personally am going to make an appointment with my counselor to bring up this subject. Working on body image, I believe, is important when your real body image has changed drastically. According to the news article linked above, the specialists interviewed said that we must retrain our brain. We have apparently worked so hard at putting ourselves down that we now must retrain ourselves to lift ourselves up, pat ourselves on the back, and move forward into a new, improved way of life. So happy weight-loss to all you new, improved bodies out there…and give yourself a break…because dang it, you deserve it!!!

Many Kind Regards,
Rebekah

Rebekah is still struggling with her self image. Jeanette is doing the same, but getting some help from an unlikely source. Find out who by clicking here.

“I dial my parents’ phone number...no answer.
I hang up, wait a couple minutes, and try again.
No answer. I can feel my chest getting tighter.
My anxiety is flaring up.
I try to calm down.
I get a message from my husband. I tell him what is going on. He asks me to keep him updated. He is trying to calm me through instant messenger.
God Bless him.
I get a voicemail.
My phone never rang.
It’s my mom.
My dad’s meds haven’t come and she says he has had a bad night.

His withdrawal is worsening.
Yesterday he even had some tremors from the withdrawal.
We hung up so dad can call the VA Pharmacy.
They say it is on the truck, but the UPS truck didn’t stop.
I am over hundreds of miles away and can’t help. I can’t help take care of my disabled mom or my disabled dad, who is taking care of my mom! I am powerless.”

My friend cries to me and now I feel powerless. And then I remember, I AM A WRITER. I can write this story. I can write about the other atrocity that is happening to our vets. My friend’s father is on chronic pain meds from the VA. The VA Pharmacy has conveniently “forgotten” to refill his meds. There is a process they have to go through to get chronic pain meds. Doctors visits twice a year and a friendly request for your next refill has to be submitted online or by phone. The pharmacy marked it as filled, but never filled it. So her father is going through the hell and torment of withdrawal from these chronic pain meds. Her father called the pharmacy.

“I put in my request and the computer system says that it was filled, but it hasn’t shown up yet. Where are my meds?...I ran out on the 3rd, the same day your system says it was filled...it hasn’t even been filled yet?? What are you trying to do? Are you all trying to kill me??...You are a pharmacist! You should know what happens when you quit someone cold turkey on this type of medication!” This was the abbreviated conversation that her father had with the pharmacist.

I start digging around and asking other combat wounded vets that are being taken care of by the VA system if this had ever happened to them.

Their responses

Combat veteran #1: When I call in med refills with the VA I have to call two times before the due date otherwise they will most likely put the script in wrong or not put it in at all! I can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me. You have to babysit everything you do over there especially if it’s important!

Combat veteran #2: I had issues with RXs once or twice. But I did get lucky by having them overnighted. I also had to wait hours in the pharmacy to get meds too. What the heck is going on?? Vets having trouble getting meds, especially chronic pain meds, is the last thing these vets, who have been combat wounded in the wars they have fought in, should EVER have to face.

This really pushes my buttons and makes me excruciatingly angry. That could be my husband one day, I think to myself. This has to stop. This has to get fixed. This has to be given some attention in the spotlight, so to speak, so that the Powers That Be (if they even give a rat’s hind-end) can stop this!!

So, back to my friend. She is worried sick. Her husband is deployed as well, making this an even harder situation for her to face. She has called her father’s congressman and that office got in contact with the VA pharmacy chief. He promised it would be overnighted. Her father called the pharmacy when the UPS truck drove by and didn’t stop to deliver meds. Luckily, a second truck came through and his meds were on it.

What can you do? If you or a loved one has had similar issues, please, contact your congressman. Send a letter with the exact phrase “causing unnecessary medical hardship”. That is what the vet advocate at my friend’s congressman’s office said.

***Disclaimer: My friend has asked for anonymity to protect her and her father. Please, do not comment on this story with details that might lead to the identification of these individuals if you know the names of any of the people involved. Some meds that these vets get are high-powered narcotics and their names do not need to be associated with those for safety purposes.***