This person will stop at nothing to bring you down with the incessant flow on negativity. It seriously messes with your aura. Every other time they call, text or worse— come over they bring bad news and its stifling. Wether its someone looking at them the wrong way while they dropped their kids off at the bus or the local Walmart ran out of Lime-a-ritas. Any little thing will put this person over the edge and its the end of the world. You know you have a case of the chi thief, if you wake up in the morning dreading their texts. Run!!!
• The Man Hater
I’m married, happily… to a man. So this one particular friend had me torn between feeling happy with him and wanting to sympathize with her. Every other conversation was a vent about a current boyfriend or her sons father (not in the picture). Why she can’t trust men; they all lie, cheat and never change. It’s easy to want to say “Hey, I’ve been through that, my husband once…” Now, you're a man hater too and when hubby comes home you've managed to upset yourself at him all over again, at something that happened 10 years ago!!! Look I get it, dating sucks! When it starts affecting my relationship with my husband, you get the boot because A) I love him and B) You’re the one choosing these guys!
• The One Upper
Were your recently employed and she just got a promotion? Did you clean your whole bedroom? EVEN your closet! She cleaned the WHOLE house and the garage. This person will one up you till the sun goes down. They don’t care what its about they just want to be better than you. Don’t get me wrong a little healthy competition is cool, I totally get it. Still, if I let you stay in my house while your husband deploys, maybe you should refrain from saying things like “Why don’t we put my 52 inch in your living room and put your 32 inch TV in storage since mine is obviously better ? Also Canon sucks.” Wait… What??? GET OUT!
• The Sympathy Seeker
This one suffers- I mean more than anyone, ever, in the history of time as we know it. They crave that attention you give a baby when he falls right on his bottom. You know if you ignore it he’ll stand up and giggle but your mom says “Awwww” and he cries. This is the adult version of that, the victim. They feign being ill or being abused these days through online bullying. Not that it might not genuinely happen to some people but I’m talking about those that make it happen. Then tell you about it or make sure you see it so you’ll come to their emotional aid. Watch it, they like to play rescuer too. This means they'll just as easily bully you online to come to your defense. Yes, I’ve encountered this.
• The Coaster
This friend likes to ride on your emotional roller coaster and be your heroic BFF! They see you’re having a terrible day and they want to know why, they want to know who, they want the details. They are angry and at times will make wild suggestions for things you can do to feel better. “Lets go! We’ll key her car, that’ll show her not giving you those curly fries you ordered and paid for!” Woooooah, seem a bit extreme? They want to see you riled up, they feed off it. They’re not looking out for you, they think this is fun.
Give any of these friends genuinely good news however and you get a flat “Oh cool.”
They just want to see the world burn and know they took part in lighting the flame. I’m not down with that or anyone who is. Everyday I’m analyzing the people around me to ensure that they're bringing something positive into my life or at the very least they bring me nothing at all. There’s that saying “I’d rather have four quarters than one hundred pennies” it makes complete sense “quality over quantity” every time.