Kicked Out of the Neighborhood

​Recently, a story broke in California that concerns all families with children on the autism spectrum. A family in Sunnyvale, California is being sued by their neighbors stemming from incidents involving their 9-year-old son with autism spectrum disorder. According to the families, the incidents started when the child, not named in any news media, started going into other’s homes and taking food. It culminated with an alleged assault on a three year old neighbor. 

The child and his family moved from the neighborhood in late 2014. They attempted to sell their home, but the home would not sell despite the rising economy in California. The plaintiffs in the case allege that the family kept the home in hopes to return to the neighborhood. They sought an injunction to keep the family out of the neighborhood, and asked the judge to declare the child a public nuisance. As part of the evidentiary findings, lawyers from the families are requesting medical records, school records, and therapy records be released from the boy’s family. They are also seeking damages, because they allege that the boy’s behavior has negatively affected resale values in the neighborhood.
I am watching this case with vested interest. I have an 11-year-old child on the autism spectrum, and a case like this raises many concerns. The only information I have regarding this case are from blog postings and news articles from both sides, but reading the commentary from people seemingly without children on the autism spectrum has me concerned about the repercussions such a case will have if it’s allowed to go forward, and how devastating the outcome will be if the plaintiffs actually win.

Perhaps the parents were over their heads when it came to dealing with an aggressive child.

​Let me preface by saying that I do think that the parents of the child involved are partially to blame for the entire situation. Hindsight is 20/20, but often parents are caught in the trap of excusing unacceptable behavior, because they feel that their children “cannot help it” if they behave a certain way. Despite parental opinion, children with autism are capable of learning acceptable behavior, they need to be disciplined (albeit perhaps in a different manner than typical children), and they are capable of a lot more than most people give them credit for. The child in question was obviously not monitored properly, and perhaps the parents were over their heads when it came to dealing with an aggressive child.

That being said, there are valid concerns of families on the autism spectrum regarding this specific case. The first is the sheer number of people who don’t believe that autism is a condition that causes children to behave in an odd or an inappropriate manner. Many commenters state that parents are often just making excuses for their brats when they state that they have autism, and autism is merely a label that parents utilize when they cannot control their children. It has become clear to me in the last few years that children with autism are often just not wanted in public. We have to somehow hide these children away from the people who don’t want to see them until they are no longer different from their typical peers. With this case now in the media, not only are our children not safe in public, but our children should not be allowed outside in their own yards. The only substantiated claim in the lawsuit was that the child stole a banana from someone’s home. Now parents also have to worry about being sued for stealing a banana out of a neighbor’s house. 
My biggest fear, besides actually being sued, is being ostracized in our next community because of fear based on assumptions people make regarding autism, and my son’s other co-morbid conditions. It scares me that I may soon have to disclose his diagnosis to my neighbors and landlords, and it scares me even more that they might preclude me from living in a neighborhood. Will having a child on the autism spectrum eventually cause my homeowners/renters insurance to go up? When I introduce him to the neighbors will I have say, “Yes he has autism, but don’t worry he is only violent on very rare cases, and only towards me?” Will I have to explain every tantrum and every vocalization? What about when he is blamed for things that happen in the neighborhood? 

One of the children in another neighborhood was causing damage to neighbor’s homes, and the damage was blamed on my son. How do I defend my child without appearing overly defensive? How will a case like this affect children like mine accepted into mainstream environments in schools? Right now, there is a stigma against children on the spectrum. With this case, and others, children with autism are written off as violent offenders, and parents are often seen as ineffective at best and criminally negligent at worst.

Will I have to explain every tantrum and every vocalization?

Raising a child with autism comes with many worries. I worry about my son’s future. I worry about him living independently. I worry about him having a massive seizure and dying from the injury to his brain. I worry about him being taken advantage of and bullied. I worry about sending him to school, especially when he was neglected by a teacher in public school a few years ago. I worry about him being sexually abused, as children with developmental disabilities are far more likely to face sexual assault than their typical counterparts. I worry about every military move we make, the back slides in progress from stopping and restarting therapy, and what opportunities he will have when he starts at a new school. Now, I worry about moving into a new neighborhood where we face being ostracized until we move, and possibly a potential lawsuit well after we have moved. It appears to me that the pendulum is now swinging back towards blaming mothers and fathers of children on the spectrum, and we have to justify our existence to an uncaring and unsympathetic public.
Many Kind Regards,
Jodi    
Sources:
http://www.autism-society.org/in-the-news/message-from-autism-society-san-francisco-bay-area-regarding-sunnyvale-public-nuisance-lawsuit/
http://www.inquisitr.com/2433151/family-of-autistic-boy-11-sued-by-neighbors-claiming-the-child-is-a-public-nuisance-judge-agrees/

original image source: Ruth Tsang via flickr