by Des Ryan
Editor’s note: this piece was born of a discussion about modern parents and whether we are too distracted. Please use empathy when responding and discussing your thoughts.
Today in my newsfeed I noticed two similar articles with very different outcomes. Both working fathers of toddlers with very busy work schedules. Both went to work as usual and were so distracted they had forgot to drop their sleeping toddlers off at daycare but instead parked their cars and left their children in the car. One father went on his normal work day came home and noticed the toddler in their carseat completely unresponsive and had died. The other father got on the train for work and realized he didn’t drop his daughter off at daycare. He calls 911 and explains what happened and that he is on his way back. He arrives within 20 minutes of the rescue completely distraught. He explains this is not his normal routine and was distracted on getting to work. These articles of forgetfulness with our children have been being reported a lot more often. Right away people ask, “How could someone ever forget their child”? “How did you not notice your child in their car seat leaving the car to go to work”? “How could someone drive all the way home and not notice that their child had been in the car all day”? “What could possibly make you this forgetful and distracted”?
I had something similar happen to me years ago. I was a mom of a 4 year old, 3 year old and a 4 month old. I was a Manager at a clothing store in the mall and one of the employees called in sick. I got an early phone call and had to go into open. My husband was in the field so it was just me getting the older two ready for their carpool for preschool. Then trying to get myself ready for work while trying to get a hold of my babysitter to see if she could help me out, since technically it was her day off. She said yes but she needed me to drop off my daughter at her house. She would usually come to mine. I was very relieved but I was already running late because the sick call was so late. I got my daughter’s bag ready and got her in her carseat. I hurried to get my purse and everything else I needed and loaded up my car. I was trying to hurry, of course hitting every red light on the way. I kept looking at my clock in the car and praying I would get there to open up on time. I was about 3 miles away when I finally got on the freeway. I looked back to merge and noticed my daughter fast asleep. I had completely forgotten to drop her off. Not only that, I had completely forgotten she was there in the car with me. I was in such a hurry I would have easily parked and ran into the mall to open up the store. I was so upset I had to pull over. I was crying but pulled myself together and got to work. My daughter just stayed with me in the store. I was so disappointed in myself that I wasn’t going to leave her at all. I was only there a couple hours and came home.
I couldn’t believe I had done this. My daughter was such a quiet baby I never gave it a second thought that she was with me. I had such a fast paced life with 3 small kids I never thought of myself being spacey or too busy, but I learned that day it can happen to ANYONE!! I had a schedule I stuck to for us and on this one day I got a monkey wrench thrown into it and almost caused a horrific tragedy. All of this because I was so distracted and running late. I learned that day to slow down for the sake of my family.
We are so quick to judge and crucify these parents when they are punishing themselves for a tragic mistake they’ve made and they have to live with for the rest of their lives. We are so distracted with our jobs, kids, schools, sports, all sorts of activities and if we aren’t doing it all we are being judged constantly. Unless you have been in a situation like this, no one should be judging. We should have compassion and come together as a whole to help each other so these mistakes don’t happen anymore. Alarms would be great to go off when a child is left in a turned off car. There are lots of things we can do together to help but being so incredibly judgmental should not be our first instinct.
My heart and prayers go out to the father and mother who tragically lost their child. I also pray the other father finds it in himself to forgive his mistake. I hope he takes this as a HUGE sign to slow down his fast paced life. The most important thing in his life is sitting in the backseat of his car.
I couldn’t believe I had done this. My daughter was such a quiet baby I never gave it a second thought that she was with me. I had such a fast paced life with 3 small kids I never thought of myself being spacey or too busy, but I learned that day it can happen to ANYONE!! I had a schedule I stuck to for us and on this one day I got a monkey wrench thrown into it and almost caused a horrific tragedy. All of this because I was so distracted and running late. I learned that day to slow down for the sake of my family.
We are so quick to judge and crucify these parents when they are punishing themselves for a tragic mistake they’ve made and they have to live with for the rest of their lives. We are so distracted with our jobs, kids, schools, sports, all sorts of activities and if we aren’t doing it all we are being judged constantly. Unless you have been in a situation like this, no one should be judging. We should have compassion and come together as a whole to help each other so these mistakes don’t happen anymore. Alarms would be great to go off when a child is left in a turned off car. There are lots of things we can do together to help but being so incredibly judgmental should not be our first instinct.
My heart and prayers go out to the father and mother who tragically lost their child. I also pray the other father finds it in himself to forgive his mistake. I hope he takes this as a HUGE sign to slow down his fast paced life. The most important thing in his life is sitting in the backseat of his car.
Original Photo Credit: Flickr
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