For the love of individually wrapped tiny candy bars… can Halloween just be OVER already?
The other night I had a dream. My college drama teacher had given me a role I had been coveting for some time, and I was thrilled! That was until I learned that, as a condition of getting this part, I would be required to be on stage for a full 10 minutes… completely nude. Not “college-body” nude. No. “After-two-kids-and-life” nude. It was, in a word, horrifying.
I woke up and realized that I might need to start raising money for my plastic surgery fund because you just never know when that dream role will present itself, right? I made some very careful calculations: Take the number of stretch marks, divide that by two c-sections, subtract the weight loss, add the inches that gravity has stretched my skin, carry the two… and, well, I figure it will only take a cool half million to get this body stage ready.
It could be worse.
Erin Whitehead is a sought after author, vocalist, consultant and speaker. She is an original member of the American Military Spouses Choir, featured on Season 8 of America's Got Talent. She currently lives in Florida with her husband, who recently retired from the USMC, and their two daughters.