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How You Can Succeed at Step-parenting: Suck at Blending

12/30/2014

Article by: Trisha and Rachel, Stepping Through
Photo Credit: Stepping Through

Want your stepfamily to succeed? Then, make sure you suck at blending.

‘To blend’ means to mix one thing with another until they are combined. ‘Blended’ conjures up images of the best banana smoothie you’ve ever tasted – with all the ingredients combined together in perfect taste-bud tantalising harmony. But successful stepfamilies know they may react more like a vinaigrette than a smoothie. With effort, oil and vinegar come together to enhance the taste of any green salad, but when left to settle they maintain their original identities forming individual but connected layers.

Trying to be a smoothie when you’re actually a vinaigrette can only lead to confusion, disappointment, frustration and – even worse – feelings of failure.

The reality is the term ‘blended family’ has no place in stepfamily life. ‘Blended’ in its true sense is not only unachievable but also extremely limiting for stepfamilies. In fact, avoiding the whole notion of blending is a sure fire way to help your stepfamily succeed.

I’m Depressed, and That’s Okay: Highly Offensive Mom

12/29/2014

Article by: Jessica Linville
original photo credit: Flickr

After posting the link to the "Breast is Best?" article on my Facebook four weeks ago, I got quite a few messages and comments. All of the messages thanked me for posting the article because they needed to hear what I had said. At that moment, my words struck a chord with them. I can't even put into words about how that made me feel. It made me have quite a few emotions.

I felt extremely sad that so many people in my circle were dealing with varying degrees of postpartum depression (PPD). Especially since some of them... I had zero idea that they were having this internal battle. How could I not have noticed when I had been through the same thing? Because some of us are good at hiding it.

Loneliness. Shame. Helplessness. Inadequacy. Embarrassment.

CrossFit or CrossQuit?

12/27/2014

Article by: Jason Tibesar

I've been thinking about why people bash/hate on CrossFit so much lately. I mean if I don't like Starbucks, it's simple, I just don't go there but I don't speak too much about it and I'm not passionately opposed to it in conversation where I will go so far as to mock those who drink Starbucks.

I think the reason why CrossFit turns into "CrossQuit" for so many that try it is that the very essence of CrossFit is that it confronts the "Inner Quitter" inside all of us and meets it head-on with a new challenge every day. People bash CrossFitters because they make Facebook posts about their recent accomplishments and their workouts but these critics fail to understand what is actually being celebrated.

The Forgotten Soldiers Poem

12/27/2014

WE ARE THE FORGOTTEN.
WE ARE THE NOBLE AND NAÏVE WHO ANSWERED THE CALL.
THE TOWERS FELL AND THE PRINCE CRIED, “FOR THE STARS AND FREEDOM, TO
ARMS”.
WE REACHED OUT OUR HAND TO GRASP THE SWORD.
WE MARCHED FORTH TO WAR WHILE THE PEOPLE SANG OUR PRAISE.
WE BESOUGHT THEM, “REMEMBER US, HOLD US CLOSE IN YOUR HEARTS, FOR
FATE IS UNCERTAIN WHEN YOU DANCE WITH DEATH”.
AND THEY PLEDGED THEIR LOVE.

How Three Little Boys Changed My Perspective on Christmas

12/22/2014

Article by: Kim Cunningham
original photo credit: Flickr

I love holiday time. Starting from about a week before Halloween all the way up until school starts again in January, I can’t seem to get enough. I love thinking about getting together with my family. I treasure seeing my children excited about decorations, yummy cookies they want to help me make and gifts they want to buy and receive. I love to wander the aisles at stores and pick out that oh-so-perfect gift for my mom. I send texts back and forth with my sisters like mad. I giggle when my husband and I have to whisper about gifts for the kids when we both see something we know they would love. I could listen all day to my kids practice their Christmas songs on the piano and sing along with the music. All of what the season brings, all of the anticipation, fills me with joy.

Why I’m Severing Ties with Stuff This Christmas

12/18/2014

Article by: Ariele O’Brien

I have generous children. Perhaps we've taught them to be generous; perhaps they were naturally generous and we encouraged those qualities. From the time they were two-years-old, we encouraged them to bless others with toys they rarely played with at least twice a year--once before their birthday and once before Christmas. By the time they were five, they were greeters at the local Gospel Union Mission talking to the homeless people being fed there. They also started birthday fundraisers that year. They only asked for canned foods for their presents. Each year since, they've done some sort of fundraiser for those less fortunate than themselves instead of receiving presents. My children are decades ahead of most adults in this area. Their compassion keeps them generous and unattached to possessions.

As a parent, my heart cannot express the joy I feel when I think of their generosity. It's what I've prayed for, nurtured and celebrated for years. Yet, sometimes, I'm sentimental when they choose to give away a toy that I might have cherished as a child. Recently, my daughter handed me her only two Cabbage Patch dolls to bless others with because she admitted she doesn't play with them anymore. I restrained showing disappointment in her decision because she was making the best choice and I was clinging to my own childhood. You see, I played with Cabbage

Patch dolls when I was little. But here's the thing, sitting in a clear storage container in our loft are all ten of my Cabbage Patch dolls. Decades later, I STILL have them. One of my dolls even matches one of hers because they came out with 25th Anniversary Editions of their original dolls. Part of me wants to keep at least the one matching doll. But what message will I send my daughter if I keep the doll she was ready to give away?

12 Pins of Christmas

12/17/2014

Article by: Bethany Stewart

It’s that time of year again! You know, deck the halls, bake the cookies, but sometimes one can feel so lost in all the options of what to do. Well problem solved! Here is an epic list of Pinterest pins just in time for the holidays to help get you motivated! Ladies and gentlemen I present to you, the 12 Pins of Christmas!

Stop Attacking Amanda Bynes

12/16/2014

article by: Liz Snell
original photo credit: Flickr

Amanda Bynes has been a hot mess lately. An ugly- look-the-other-way, it’s-easier-to-poke-fun-than-to-understand- kind of mess. If you are a part of social media you have probably seen the downward spiral that has become of Amanda Bynes’s life. You may have even gotten a kick out of the jokes that have been made off of the back of Amanda Bynes’s. Jokes made by the likes of: Jimmy Fallon, Jason Biggs, and David Allan Grier. Her peers, whether through celebrity or humanity, are making fun of her at the very point when she needs compassion. By comparison, we cried at the death of Robin Williams and there would have been an outcry if any had poked fun of his mental illness or his unfortunate death.

I don’t know Amanda’s diagnosis (and neither do you) but I do know that repeatedly attacking anyone can weaken their emotional state. And what happens when the person’s emotional state is already what could be considered sub-par? You beat them a little further- for your own pleasure, or so that you can lighten the situation, or further yourself from being anywhere like her?!

The Top 5 Things That Annoy Me on Facebook

12/16/2014

by: Kim Cunningham

Maybe it’s the stress from this time of year. Or maybe it’s the fact that I like Twitter so much more than Facebook. Heck, maybe it’s because my doctor told me I’m perimenopausal (I had to look that up...and I’d just like to say that there’s no way I’m old enough to have to deal with THAT yet). But it seems to me that lately my Facebook newsfeed has gotten out of hand. It’s always been a bit of a narcissistic outlet for the crazy but recently the “friends” in my newsfeed have stepped up the crazy. What was once a sure-fire way for me to see a few cute pics of my cousin’s kids or get a nice ego boost after seeing that a particularly nasty girl from high school is a grandmother before the age of 40 (ha!) has turned into torture. It’s so bad that I find myself cringing every time I log on. What will so-and-so complain about today? What liberal/conservative article will so-and-so post and then rant about? I wonder what so-and-so’s passive-aggressive post will be about today? The constant drivel is totally ruining my Facebook fun, which is probably why I’ve been stuck at Level 256 on Candy Crush for over a month. In order to salvage what little fun may be left for me on Facebook, I’ve started “unfollowing” people. I haven’t unfriended them, just taken them out of my newsfeed. It’s made my daily log-ins much more pleasurable, but I’ve unfollowed so many people, I’m down to mostly ads and “People You May Know” suggestions.

5 Ways to Survive Difficult In Laws

12/15/2014

Article by: Kelly Acs

RAWR…

Dealing with the in-laws and their sharp teeth.

We’ve all been there...the awkward exchanges at Thanksgiving, or when your spouse so conveniently disappears to take a 20-minute “bathroom break” and leaves you with the in-laws to fend for yourself. If you’re an introvert, like me, the first few months are painfully uncomfortable, unless you find yourself blessed with genuine people who know what it’s like to be in your situation as the newcomer. The polite sentiments continue for a while. Warmhearted exchanges are the new norm, and you actually may start to think your adoptive family isn’t so bad.

UNTIL…you have a baby.

DING. ROUND ONE.

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